Charming, Engaging, Appreciative: The ESFJ Style Pathway

Charming, advising, engaging, appreciating - the ESFJ style pathway is like no other!

If you love and are curious about style, you’ll be interested to know how each of the 16 style types approaches their style journey. Each of the 16 style types approaches their style journey differently. In this article we’re going to discuss the Charming Stylist, ESFJ: The Style Adviser.

Before We Begin

Here at 16 Style Types we differentiate between style essence and style expression, and our focus is on style essence. Which is why you won’t find any specific style advice on your style expression in this article such as which colors, silhouettes, styles of clothing, brands and so on will suit you – and that’s because your style essence doesn’t determine or even indicate what those elements of style expression are.

Women with the same Style Type, for a variety of important reasons, may not find the same kinds of clothing suit them. What they will have in common, though, are similar ways of acquiring trusted information, evaluating options, making choices, and experiencing style in significant ways, which are the concepts we focus on in this article.

Any images in this post are to act solely as possible interpretations of the spirit of this Style Type, (not as a literal example of what this Style Type may wear, might suit them or what they may choose to wear, and certainly not as a recommendation of what they should be wearing). The images exist only to illustrate and illuminate, not mandate or dictate.

The articles are also published in their Style Type pairs showcasing images which may serve to illustrate the differences (again in essence) in those pairs – so here that means ESFJ with ISFJ.

The Charming Stylist, ESFJ: The Style Adviser

For many ESFJs style is fun. Everything to do with dressing for the day is interesting. They often think about style a lot, finding it fascinating. They often also enjoy watching what other women are wearing and imagine what they might have been thinking and feeling when they chose what they wore that day.

“I’m often approached by women who love what I’m wearing, and I love that – I had a woman chase me down the street to tell me how fabulous she thought I looked. What a hoot! It feels good and it often starts a great conversation about style. I’d dress up anyway because I enjoy it so much. When we painted the bathroom, my work clothes coordinated – a woman in the hardware store complimented me on my great outfit, even with the paint-splattered shorts (my work cap and work shoes did match).  Compliments are really just a way to get a conversation going, and that’s the best part – talking with other people.”

ESFJs are highly attuned to the people around them and possess a genuine desire to connect and communicate with others. Supporting their people-focused affinity, they are detail-oriented and use past experience as a helpful barometer in working out today’s priorities. ESFJs have a strong work ethic and love to be in the middle of the action, getting things going. Harmony, stability, security, affirmation through relationships – these are all important foundations for the ESFJ.

Charming and appreciative - the ESFJ defines an engaging and upbeat style journey

Top tips for ESFJs to find their style

Here are seven excellent tips for the ESFJs getting her style going.

Go with your interests

For ESFJs, an interest in style may have started early in life, possibly through the influence of older women (mothers, grandmothers, aunts) and/or her own innate interest in clothing, color, silhouettes, and fabrics. Style and clothing is often a keen interest, expressed not only in her own style but in other arenas, such as home décor.

The stylish ESFJ is encouraged to go with this interest in the beautiful, the stylish, the pretty – it will make her heart sing to add flourish to the everyday with a touch of pizzazz, in whatever way she chooses to do it (it doesn’t have to be loud and bold, small and discrete can work beautifully too).

Add in some education

Naturally drawn to learning more about style, ESFJs often take their style to an elevated level when they add some education and style structures into the mix, helping her create a signature style that is both comfortable and refined, creative and appropriate in many life and work environments.

This style education may be short-term, with the ESFJ gathering what she needs and applying it, then moving onto other interests… or it may be a long-term, even a lifetime, interest in style that has her always discovering and exploring  more about style in general but most importantly, her specific style pathway.

Organizing will make you feel better

ESFJs are, in the main, naturally organized and drawn to organizing their spaces – it can mess with their heads if their everyday spaces don’t have order and structure to them, with everything in its place.

ESFJs are encouraged to create not only organized and ordered but beautifully organized and ordered style spaces, from their closets to their laundries, putting things in their proper place and providing that underlying structure on which all great style things flow.

It’s okay to love style and all that jazz

Many ESFJs confess that life without style would be bleak, colourless, even a little (or a lot) miserable. They have usually discovered that fashion and style are not the same thing – fashion is an industry, but style is deep:  it’s about finding out who you are and expressing it.

In her love of all things style, the ESFJ may over-acquire but her interest isn’t usually on what is on trend, but on expanding her wardrobe, a playground that holds enduring fascination for her.  She’s encouraged to keep an awareness about her ‘incoming’ to make sure it doesn’t tip over the edge into too much.

Style structures always help

ESFJs flourish when there is a sustainable structure supporting them in any endeavor – and style is no exception. Thriving when there is some form of routine  – she works best when she can create her own style structures after exploring all the options that interest her, refining her style structures down to the workable few ideas she wants to implement.

ESFJs are encouraged to devise a set of regular routines for important style processes, including shopping, getting dressed for the day, closet organization, maintenance and and curation, even packing.

Lean into the open questions

Sometimes style questions can’t be answered as quickly as the ESFJ would like and there can be a resultant lack of order, structure, stability and harmony. This isn’t when an ESFJ shines!

But being able to live with the open questions while it’s necessary that they exist, such as having identified a wardrobe gap and being unable to fill it quickly, is a helpful skill for the stylish ESFJ to learn.

Whilst open chaos is to be avoided at all costs, learning to let go and go with the flow – just as much as is necessary – will help the ESFJ at those important style crossroads when things are simply beyond her control and out of her hands.

Find your signature style

The turning point is often recognizing that her personal flair is not only possible but required as an element to creating a signature style statement that tells the world who she is and supports her need for connection and positive acknowledgement.  Without this personal flair, there will always will like there’s something significant missing from the ESFJs style pathway and expression.

With appropriate style input from trusted sources such as stylish friends and professional image advisers, style resources such as online sources and books, and style education in the form of online style programs or a style workshop, the ESFJ will express a dynamic, interesting style that not only looks good, but makes her feel fabulous.

Lively and often fun, the ESFJ style pathway is identified through its charming and engaging style

Summarizing ESFJ style

The stylish ESFJ uses her harmony-driven detail orientation to craft and curate a beautiful style expression. ESFJs have a charming, advising style when they are their stylish best, they love to share their often-extensive style experience with others.

In the style blueprint (part of the ESFJ Style Report which you receive when you discover your style type), we describe four stages an ESFJ is likely to go through as she explores and discovers for herself what style is, and means, to her – a handy resource for the charming stylist, the ESFJ facilitating her style journey (and advising a few others along the way!).


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